What makes a loser? What are the key elements? Can someone with a high salary job and a gigantic house just as easily be a loser as a person with no job and a tiny house? Is one deemed a loser on a strictly material basis? Or are there deeper issues... like being a huge dick?
Perhaps a person only becomes a loser if he feels like one himself... or is it because a bunch of huge dicks keep calling him a loser? And is the opposite true: Do huge dicks bring about feeling like huge dicks themselves, or do they feel like huge dicks because a bunch of losers keep calling them huge dicks?
There are losers of every type, really. A friend recently suggested to me that poor musical taste was a key element of loserdom. "If you like crap like Taylor Swift, you're a loser." I'd be inclined to agree with him, but I'm sure a lot of Taylor Swift fans would say, "If you like Slayer, you're a loser... and you're going to hell". Another friend said, "If you are one of those people who dislikes others based solely on gender, ethnicity, race, creed, sexual orientation, etc. you are a loser" (She added that those people "usually have poor musical taste as well").
I find the second comment particularly interesting (although writing about poor musical taste is very tempting, because... FUNNY). Disliking, or discriminating against someone based on their religion, the color of their skin, or their desire to make out with people of the same gender is, indeed, a very loser-like thing to do. Any minority has to deal with this type of thinking, and I can't imagine it is easy for any of them. This lack of understanding comes from an absence of education, and complete disregard for the fact that they've got something to learn in the first place. Accepting stereotypes is the easy way to go about living your life. Working as hard as you can to see past them takes time, understanding, and an open mind. For the person being discriminated against, being lumped into a stereotype is an incredibly hurtful feeling. This leads to isolation and mounds of negative thinking... i.e. "I'm a loser".
Now, I am not a person of color. I do not identify myself with any particular class. I am not a homosexual... and I do not like Taylor Swift. The stereotyping I am exposed to is a result of the fact that I have a mental illness. The list of stereotypes involving bipolar disorder, for example, is as long as the Country Music Awards. A few of the things I hear often are that we are dangerous, we're horrible parents, we're all drug addicts, we're insane and belong in asylums and, worst of all, there really isn't anything wrong with us... that maniacal depression and extreme social anxiety are merely excuses we use to get out of dealing with the things "normal" people deal with every day. Well... you don't have to be bipolar to be dangerous, or be on drugs, and there are millions of Wal-Mart shoppers who shouldn't have children. But the stereotype is there. We will always be drug addled, psychotic, lying losers to many people. Nothing any of us can do about it now. Nothing except try to explain... to anyone who'll listen.
Hannah Rice Myers wrote a nice article about bipolar stereotypes. She says stereotypes "are generally formed without knowledge or based on fear of the unknown. In the case of those with bipolar disorder, these stereotypes, or stigmas, often cause those with this condition to feel ashamed that they fail to seek treatment. Not only does this fuel the myths, it ruins the lives of those who have a very treatable medical condition" http://www.livestrong.com/article/82673-bipolar-stereotypes/#ixzz1mbQY5aXX. There is a lot of truth in this statement. The failure to seek treatment can certainly make things worse, but being treated like a sub-human even after being treated is extra painful. The shame is still there because it is VERY difficult to admit you have a mental illness. Why? Because before finding out you've got one, all you knew about were the stereotypes associated with such an illness. This shame leads to personal resentment, which leads to MORE depression and MORE resentment, which leads to MORE shame, which leads to... you get my meaning here, right? As a result, many sufferers from manic depression live under a cloud that rains "loser" vibes all over them... every day.
Luckily there is a big difference between feeling like a loser and being a loser. That is difficult to remember when you're used to feeling like one, but knowing you're not is always somewhere in the back of your mind. It's the same thing as feeling like you're a crappy parent: If you're worried about it, you're not a crappy parent. Unless you force your children to listen to Taylor Swift.
FINAL THOUGHT:
It makes me unhappy when someone calls something bipolar. Like, "the weather here is bipolar". Is that right? Well, fuck you!
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